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Why resilience is the key to a happy life

Why resilience is the key to a happy life.

Resilience

Resilience, are we born with it or is it a learned quality? Does that question even matter? No. Why is resilience the key to a happy life?

What matters is the choices you make when you come face to face with adversity.

Yes, having resilience by the bucket loads can help you ride the storm, but that doesn’t mean your chances of surviving are scuppered if you don’t have resilience oozing out of you.

Because resilience, like most things in life, is a skill that can be taught. And the great thing about skills is that the more you practice them, the better you become at them.


So why is resilience the key to a happy life?

Quite simply, as life gets ever more complex, our happiness tends to take a backseat as we struggle to keep our heads above water. And the more setbacks, knockbacks, falls, disappointments, failure and rejection we have to deal with, the more it wears us down.

But achieving happiness isn’t about dodging these bad experiences, no one can do that, it’s knowing what choices to make to deal with them, that will keep you buoyed up. Because the more you handle tough situations, the better equipped you become to know how to handle the next one.

So many of us strive towards living a happy life, without knowing what that actually means. We forget that in order to feel happy, we also have to feel myriad other feelings: sadness, loss, misery, struggle; because without one, the other doesn’t exist.

And there is nothing wrong with feeling any of these things. Our range of emotions are one of the great things that makes us human after all.

But if a happy life is our ultimate goal, then we need to be able to handle those times when we aren’t happy. And that is where resilience fits in.

If we want a happy life, we have to accept that with the good comes the bad, and it’s how we bounce back from the bad that determines the quality of our lives. By being able to live without fearing the bad times, by being able to handle every challenge and disaster that life throws at you and come out of it the other side – by being able to manage these emotions and stressors, is the key to a happy life.

We can learn coping strategies. Resilience can be taught.

  1. Find a sense of purpose in the face of a crisis – this can help centre you.
  2. Build belief in yourself. Your self esteem plays a huge role in how you handle stress and recover from hard times. Keep reminding yourself how strong you truly are.
  3. Surround yourself with love. Having people you can rely on and talk to will give you an added layer of security.
  4. Speak to a professional. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a wonderful tool for teaching you to challenge negative thoughts.
  5. Embrace change. Nothing stays the same forever, so learn to adapt and be flexible. Sometimes you have move in a different direction before you can move forward.

Don’t just take my word for it...

Known as the best psychologist around, Wendy’s an obvious choice to be featured on the show’

Cheshire Housewives

As an ex-athlete I’ve always advocated the benefits of keeping in shape physically, but it’s just as important to look after your mental wellbeing. Book a session with Wendy, she’s the person to help you look after your brain just as you would your body.

Graham Bell

5 x Olympic Skier and presenter of BBC Ski Sunday.

Dare to dream big and Wendy’s THE person to help get you there.

Sam Bailey

X Factor winner with a long list of sell out tour successes under her belt.

The most exciting thing in the world is getting a chance to tear it all up and start again. Keep all the things you want and throw out everything you don’t. Wendy will help you do just that!

Becky Sheeran

Beauty, lifestyle and fashion blogging sensation Becky Sheeran (TalkBeckyTalk)

It’s great to have a leading psychotherapist such as Wendy in the Cheshire area, outside of her Harley Street practice. After publicly raising awareness of mental health issues and myself recovering from depression, I know how immensely life-changing expert intervention can be.

Jason Jarrett

Retired ex-professional football who played for Bury, Wigan, Stoke, Preston, Norwich, Leicester and Brighton during a 14 year career. After leaving professional football, Jason battled depression and recovered with the help of therapy and family support.

Wendy is great at what she does; she made me feel at ease immediately and really helped me work through some issues.

Tara Costello

It’s funny but from the minute I met her I felt so relaxed and she was so easy to talk to. Thank you!

Stevie Brown

Wendy isn’t only really good at what she does, she’s also really easy to talk to.

Gabriel Wilson

I want to thank you Wendy from the bottom of my heart for guiding me through what must have been the most difficult time of my life.

Raza Syed

I was told she was the best and they were right.

Noelle Dray

Although I consider myself a confident person, I was really nervous when I met Wendy for the first time. I had only emailed her before so it was really nerve wracking walking up the stairs to her office. I can honestly say it’s one of the best things I have ever done. Wendy is really normal, no in fact she isn’t normal as she is unfailingly bright and smiley even when she has to listen to me moan on about how awful my life was. It feels like having a chat with somebody who just gets you and you can trust with things you have never trusted anybody else with before. The magic bit comes when things you have talked about just pop up into your head and you start to do things differently. Wendy once joked about not having a magic wand, but I think she has.

Paul Hendry

I came to Wendy with a set of problems I have never been able to fully explain to anyone, which included grief, many family issues and alcohol problems. Wendy truly has an active listening style and absorbs everything you are saying, whilst not making you feel analysed, it is an incredible skill. She astounded me at how she got to the crux of the issues so fast. So much so that we both agreed I only needed one session with her, obviously this may not be the case with everyone but I would confidently recommend her to anyone, regardless of your problems. There was no awkwardness or even clock watching, she is wonderful at what she does, take the plunge and make an appointment, you will not regret it. Life is a direction not a destination and she will get you on the path again.

JB

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