Of course, we all want to do things well, a quest for perfection can be admirable. There is however, a huge difference between wanting to do things well and having a problem with perfectionism. It’s incredibly frustrating when people persist in perfecting tasks and attending to detail in a way that makes tasks take much longer, without adding substantially to the outcome, or surpassing expectations by miles, just because they can. People who run perfectionism cause huge distress to themselves and the perfection often impairs their ability to live a successful life.
I know that little voice in your head constantly pushes you to be perfect, but as we all know, being perfect is impossible. I would suspect that at this point anybody who struggles with perfectionism has stopped reading. The last thing that little (but loud) voice wants to hear is any evidence against a constant strive for perfection. After all, without a constant struggle against being just good enough, you’d have to find something else to beat yourself up about.
Perfectionism is usually a part of anxiety. If you spend your days feeling unworthy and never good enough, it’s obvious you’ll be fearful about the world and everyone in it. Oh, and did I mention the third partner in the miserable life trilogy? Low self-esteem always runs alongside perfectionism and anxiety……..as if things weren’t bad enough.
The key to unlocking perfectionism and freeing yourself from the shackles of its close friends, anxiety and low self-esteem, depends on identifying the thoughts and behaviour maintaining it. Things like setting the bar impossibly high, all or nothing thinking and counterproductive behaviour of checking, avoidance and being overly thorough all need addressing. Addressing the beliefs that feed your thoughts and behaviour are often essential. Does how you judge yourself depend on your achievement and is that voice yours or someone elses?
Dare to dream big and Wendy’s THE person to help get you there.
X Factor winner with a long list of sell out tour successes under her belt.
The most exciting thing in the world is getting a chance to tear it all up and start again. Keep all the things you want and throw out everything you don’t.
Beauty, lifestyle and fashion blogging sensation Becky Sheeran (TalkBeckyTalk)
It’s great to have a leading psychologist such as Wendy in the Manchester area, outside of her Harley Street practice. After publicly raising awareness of mental health issues and myself recovering from depression, I know how immensely life-changing expert intervention can be.
Retired ex-professional football who played for Bury, Wigan, Stoke, Preston, Norwich, Leicester and Brighton during a 14 year career. After leaving professional football, Jason battled depression and recovered with the help of therapy and family support.