I already know that most people that walk through my door have a problem with self-esteem. The sort of problems that I deal with such as anxiety and depression always lead to low self-esteem. I guess most people are wondering why I’m specifically using the words self-esteem rather than confidence. The reason is that there’s a huge difference between confidence and self –esteem. Confidence is the thing that people see on the outside, whether you seem relaxed and happy in situations. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. You can be hugely confident and have low self-esteem, or have great self-esteem and low confidence. Some have low self-esteem and confidence.
Confused yet?! The fact that you can have low self-esteem but good confidence gives us clues about improving confidence. Have a think about people you know who are very negative and critical about themselves but are always ‘the life and soul of the party.’ An interesting thing that people with low self-esteem sometimes do is to appear very confident (often aided and abetted with large quantities of alcohol), when in fact it’s just an act and they need the attention to try and feed their low self-esteem. You can act as if you are confident in situations, just as people do with low self-esteem. Think about somebody you know or respect who seems genuinely confident and think about how they would appear in certain situations; copy their body language and the type of things they would say. The more you practice, the better you will get at appearing confident until it becomes a part of you, rather than ‘trying to act as if.’
Self-esteem is a different ‘animal’ and often needs professional help as the reasons why you don’t like who you are can be complex and deep rooted. Usual reasons are over critical parenting, leading you to feel that you never achieve things (perversely often a problem with high achievers) and a (faulty) value and belief system that tells you that the world and other people don’t like or approve you.
Don’t let low self-esteem get in the way of your development. See what therapy can do to help.
Known as the best psychologist around, Wendy’s an obvious choice to be featured on the show’
Dare to dream big and Wendy’s THE person to help get you there.
X Factor winner with a long list of sell out tour successes under her belt.
The most exciting thing in the world is getting a chance to tear it all up and start again. Keep all the things you want and throw out everything you don’t. Wendy will help you do just that!
Beauty, lifestyle and fashion blogging sensation Becky Sheeran (TalkBeckyTalk)
It’s great to have a leading psychologist such as Wendy in the Manchester area, outside of her Harley Street practice. After publicly raising awareness of mental health issues and myself recovering from depression, I know how immensely life-changing expert intervention can be.
Retired ex-professional football who played for Bury, Wigan, Stoke, Preston, Norwich, Leicester and Brighton during a 14 year career. After leaving professional football, Jason battled depression and recovered with the help of therapy and family support.