Psychotherapy Wilmslow

 

 

I’ve recently seen an increase of enquiries for CBT Therapy in Cheshire, cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) describes a number of therapies that all have a similar approach to solving problems - these can range from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression. CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behaviour. The therapies focus on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that we hold (our cognitive processes) and how this relates to the way we behave, as a way of dealing with emotional problems.

In Cheshire CBT has an important advantage in that it tends to be short, taking three to six months for most emotional problems. Clients attend a session a week, each session lasting either 50 minutes or an hour. During this time, the client and therapist are working together to understand what the problems are and to develop a new strategy for tackling them. CBT introduces them to a set of principles that they can apply whenever they need to, and which will stand them in good stead throughout their lives.

CBT Therapy in Cheshire is a form of psychotherapy which combines cognitive and behavioural therapy. Cognitive therapy looks at how our thoughts can create our feelings and mood. Behavioural therapy pays close attention to the relationship between our problems, our behaviour and our thoughts. CBT may focus on what is going on in the present rather than the past, but often the therapy will also look at how thinking patterns may have begun in early childhood and the impact patterns of thinking may have on how we interpret the world as adult.

Relationship counselling in Macclesfield accounts for some of the work I do at my

practice in Cheshire. Most of the problems seem to centre around 5 main themes

which I have written a little about below;

My partner’s having an affair. Is this the end of our relationship?

‘I’ve discovered my husband’s been unfaithful with one of our closest friends. The

past few days have been a horrendous mixture of rows, tears and recriminations.

He says he still loves me, and I still love him, but everyone I know tells me to just

walk away. Is there any hope for us?’

Infidelity doesn’t have to spell the end for a relationship. Yes, some partners have

affairs because they want out of the relationship, but for most people, an affair is

a wake-up call. It’s a signal that they’re not happy, but if the relationship changed

they would stay. In some cases, a relationship is strengthened by an affair as both

partners have had to face and work through the problems in their relationship.

Affair action plan

News that your partner has had an affair will shock. Don’t make any hasty

decisions about your future, however much other people pressure you to do so.

Your partner needs to agree to stop seeing his (or her) lover - if they refuse, walk

away.

Once you’re over the shock and can talk calmly with your partner, try and talk

through the reasons for the infidelity.

Think about the question: what needs to change in your relationship for infidelity

never to happen again?

Couples counselling can provide a neutral and supportive environment to talk

these difficult issues through

We keep having the same old arguments. How do we stop going round in

circles?

‘We are always arguing and it’s always about the same things. We try to work

things out, but one of us always loses our temper – and to be honest, I’m losing

faith that we will ever get things sorted. How can we stop these rows?’

There are two key causes of arguments. Firstly, you may not have the necessary

skills to resolve serious conflicts. Whilst you were fine in the early part of your

relationship, when there was nothing serious to argue about, now your

differences of opinion are apparent, you struggle to resolve issues and can’t cope.

Secondly, you avoid discussing the issue you’re really upset about – one or both of

you feels furious but either doesn’t realise it, or is too scared to admit it.

Stop arguing action plan

Discover the hidden resentments that are lurking under the surface; sometimes

acknowledgement alone clears them up.

Discuss together – if necessary with the help of a counsellor – any long-standing

issues, things you just can’t forgive.

Develop ways of nipping an argument in the bud by breaking the mood with a

hug, a joke or an apology.

Learn the skills of negotiation to resolve things that you can’t agree on in a way

that leaves both of you feeling good.

Head off building resentments by taking time every day to bring up differences

and disagreements and clear the air.

My partner’s gone off sex. Does it mean he has gone off me?

‘At the beginning of our relationship, sex was non-stop. But over the past six

months, my partner seems to have lost all interest in sex. He never initiates sex

and none of my efforts to entice him into bed are working. He says he still loves

me, but I don’t believe him.’

Tessa

Sexual desire naturally dips in any relationship. However, when desire completely

dies away, there is something wrong. It’s not necessarily due to problems in the

relationship. Desire can fade through physical causes, such as illness or

medication and mental causes such as stress or depression.

Sex action plan

Encourage a partner who’s lost interest in sex to have a medical check-up.

If loss of desire has followed a life failure, such as job loss, then offer support.

Once confidence returns, your partner’s sex drive will, too.

Even if the love is still there, sometimes relationship resentment can mean that

there isn’t enough trust for lovemaking – couples counselling may help.

Remove as much stress from life as possible – cut back work, spend more leisure

time, take regular breaks away.

The worst you can do is to pressure a partner who’s gone off sex – that’ll just add

to their anxiety and make them less likely to feel sexy.

I love my partner – but I can’t get on with his children.

‘We’ve been together for nearly a year, and everything’s wonderful – except for

the weekends when he sees his children. I haven’t got children of my own and

feel uneasy with his. They resent me because they want him to get back with their

Mum. The whole weekend’s stressful and after the children have gone home we

always end up rowing’.

Being a step-parent can create all kinds of problems. Your partner wants to do the

best for his kids and in principle you agree with him. In practice, you feel left out

and often hurt by the children’s hostility towards you. This emotional tug-of-war

creates strain in your relationship.

Step-parenting action plan

Expect the children to come first when your partner sees them; don’t fight them

for his attention or put him in an emotional tug-of-war.

When you’re with the children, be yourself; they’ll spot false attempts to win

them round. As to childcare, support your partner’s way of interacting with his

children – he may feel as unskilled as you are about coping with them.

Don’t expect his children to like you – they may never do. But remember that their

dislike isn’t personal; they don’t know you – their anger is really aimed at their

father.

If you really find it hard to be with your partner’s children, stay away. It’s vital that

he gets good quality time with them – you have him the rest of the time!

We never agree about money. Help!

‘My partner and I just have completely different attitudes to money. He seems

incapable of keeping track and as a result we sometimes get overdrawn. I’m much

more careful, to the point where he often accuses me of being miserly. I feel so

out of control when he spends too much – and he says he feels nagged and

controlled when I try to get him to cut back. We’re not too bad at the start of the

month, but by the end we’re at each other’s throats.’

Money plays an important part of life, but the thing to remember is that money is

never just about money. It can be a real power issue in a relationship, with each

partner wanting to organise and spend their money their own way. The problems

start with our different attitudes- we’ve all inherited different spending patterns

from our parents and the different ways we deal with it can lead to problems.

Cash action plan

Look back at how you were taught to handle money – then swap notes. The more

you appreciate each other’s attitudes to money, the less you’ll row.

If one of you is earning far more than the other, they shouldn’t therefore hold all

the control; value each partner’s contributions, whether they are financial or not.

Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some money that

you alone control – such as a joint account for housekeeping plus ‘spending

money’.

If neither of you are good at budgeting, seek expert help. Call National Debtline

on 0808 808 4000.

If money arguments have suddenly erupted, ask why; how has the power balance

in your relationship altered in recent months? This could be what’s triggering the

arguments.

Relationship counselling in Wilmslow accounts for some of the work I do at my

practice in Cheshire. Most of the problems seem to centre around 5 main themes

which I have written a little about below;

My partner’s having an affair. Is this the end of our relationship?

‘I’ve discovered my husband’s been unfaithful with one of our closest friends. The

past few days have been a horrendous mixture of rows, tears and recriminations.

He says he still loves me, and I still love him, but everyone I know tells me to just

walk away. Is there any hope for us?’

Infidelity doesn’t have to spell the end for a relationship. Yes, some partners have

affairs because they want out of the relationship, but for most people, an affair is

a wake-up call. It’s a signal that they’re not happy, but if the relationship changed

they would stay. In some cases, a relationship is strengthened by an affair as both

partners have had to face and work through the problems in their relationship.

Affair action plan

News that your partner has had an affair will shock. Don’t make any hasty

decisions about your future, however much other people pressure you to do so.

Your partner needs to agree to stop seeing his (or her) lover - if they refuse, walk

away.

Once you’re over the shock and can talk calmly with your partner, try and talk

through the reasons for the infidelity.

Think about the question: what needs to change in your relationship for infidelity

never to happen again?

Couples counselling can provide a neutral and supportive environment to talk

these difficult issues through

We keep having the same old arguments. How do we stop going round in

circles?

‘We are always arguing and it’s always about the same things. We try to work

things out, but one of us always loses our temper – and to be honest, I’m losing

faith that we will ever get things sorted. How can we stop these rows?’

There are two key causes of arguments. Firstly, you may not have the necessary

skills to resolve serious conflicts. Whilst you were fine in the early part of your

relationship, when there was nothing serious to argue about, now your

differences of opinion are apparent, you struggle to resolve issues and can’t cope.

Secondly, you avoid discussing the issue you’re really upset about – one or both of

you feels furious but either doesn’t realise it, or is too scared to admit it.

Stop arguing action plan

Discover the hidden resentments that are lurking under the surface; sometimes

acknowledgement alone clears them up.

Discuss together – if necessary with the help of a counsellor – any long-standing

issues, things you just can’t forgive.

Develop ways of nipping an argument in the bud by breaking the mood with a

hug, a joke or an apology.

Learn the skills of negotiation to resolve things that you can’t agree on in a way

that leaves both of you feeling good.

Head off building resentments by taking time every day to bring up differences

and disagreements and clear the air.

My partner’s gone off sex. Does it mean he has gone off me?

‘At the beginning of our relationship, sex was non-stop. But over the past six

months, my partner seems to have lost all interest in sex. He never initiates sex

and none of my efforts to entice him into bed are working. He says he still loves

me, but I don’t believe him.’

Tessa

Sexual desire naturally dips in any relationship. However, when desire completely

dies away, there is something wrong. It’s not necessarily due to problems in the

relationship. Desire can fade through physical causes, such as illness or

medication and mental causes such as stress or depression.

Sex action plan

Encourage a partner who’s lost interest in sex to have a medical check-up.

If loss of desire has followed a life failure, such as job loss, then offer support.

Once confidence returns, your partner’s sex drive will, too.

Even if the love is still there, sometimes relationship resentment can mean that

there isn’t enough trust for lovemaking – couples counselling may help.

Remove as much stress from life as possible – cut back work, spend more leisure

time, take regular breaks away.

The worst you can do is to pressure a partner who’s gone off sex – that’ll just add

to their anxiety and make them less likely to feel sexy.

I love my partner – but I can’t get on with his children.

‘We’ve been together for nearly a year, and everything’s wonderful – except for

the weekends when he sees his children. I haven’t got children of my own and

feel uneasy with his. They resent me because they want him to get back with their

Mum. The whole weekend’s stressful and after the children have gone home we

always end up rowing’.

Being a step-parent can create all kinds of problems. Your partner wants to do the

best for his kids and in principle you agree with him. In practice, you feel left out

and often hurt by the children’s hostility towards you. This emotional tug-of-war

creates strain in your relationship.

Step-parenting action plan

Expect the children to come first when your partner sees them; don’t fight them

for his attention or put him in an emotional tug-of-war.

When you’re with the children, be yourself; they’ll spot false attempts to win

them round. As to childcare, support your partner’s way of interacting with his

children – he may feel as unskilled as you are about coping with them.

Don’t expect his children to like you – they may never do. But remember that their

dislike isn’t personal; they don’t know you – their anger is really aimed at their

father.

If you really find it hard to be with your partner’s children, stay away. It’s vital that

he gets good quality time with them – you have him the rest of the time!

We never agree about money. Help!

‘My partner and I just have completely different attitudes to money. He seems

incapable of keeping track and as a result we sometimes get overdrawn. I’m much

more careful, to the point where he often accuses me of being miserly. I feel so

out of control when he spends too much – and he says he feels nagged and

controlled when I try to get him to cut back. We’re not too bad at the start of the

month, but by the end we’re at each other’s throats.’

Money plays an important part of life, but the thing to remember is that money is

never just about money. It can be a real power issue in a relationship, with each

partner wanting to organise and spend their money their own way. The problems

start with our different attitudes- we’ve all inherited different spending patterns

from our parents and the different ways we deal with it can lead to problems.

Cash action plan

Look back at how you were taught to handle money – then swap notes. The more

you appreciate each other’s attitudes to money, the less you’ll row.

If one of you is earning far more than the other, they shouldn’t therefore hold all

the control; value each partner’s contributions, whether they are financial or not.

Work out a way of managing your finances that gives you both some money that

you alone control – such as a joint account for housekeeping plus ‘spending

money’.

If neither of you are good at budgeting, seek expert help. Call National Debtline

on 0808 808 4000.

If money arguments have suddenly erupted, ask why; how has the power balance

in your relationship altered in recent months? This could be what’s triggering the

arguments.

 

How stress affects fertility.

 

A new study suggests high levels of stress may reduce a woman’s ability to become pregnant.

Researchers at Oxford University and the U.S. National Institutes of Health say the work provides evidence for the first time of an association between high levels of a biological marker for stress and reduced chances of a woman conceiving during the fertile days of her monthly cycle.

The study, published in the journal Fertility and Sterility, suggests that some couples wanting to become pregnant may benefit from relaxation techniques.

“This is the first study to find that a biological measure of stress is associated with a woman’s chances of becoming pregnant that month,” explains Dr. Cecilia Pyper of the National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit at the University of Oxford.

“We looked at a group of healthy women aged between 18 and 40 who were all planning a pregnancy. We found that those women with high levels of a marker for stress were less likely to succeed in conceiving. The findings support the idea that couples should aim to stay as relaxed as they can about trying for a baby. In some people’s cases, it might be relevant to look at relaxation techniques, counselling and even approaches like yoga and meditation,” Dr. Pyper says.

It is well known that age affects the ability of women to conceive, and there is evidence that smoking, obesity and alcohol consumption can affect the likelihood of becoming pregnant. As a result the advice given to women planning to get pregnant includes stopping smoking, eating a healthy diet, lowering alcohol intake and taking folic acid.

Stress has also been suggested as a factor affecting the chances of couples conceiving, but this has been based largely on anecdotal or indirect evidence. So the research team from Oxford University and the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute for Child Health and Human Development set out to measure stress levels among healthy women seeking to get pregnant and see whether the levels were related to their chances of conceiving.

“We want to understand the things that affect the chances of pregnancy for normal, healthy women trying for a baby,” says Dr. Pyper.

“Many couples are very keen to know what they should do to improve their chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby, and this will help us provide the best advice.”

The study included data from 274 healthy women aged between 18 and 40 who were trying to become pregnant. During the study, the women provided saliva samples on day 6 of each of their menstrual cycles to test for levels of the hormone cortisol and alpha-amylase (an indicator of adrenalin levels).

The body has two pathways that respond to stress: one involves the release of adrenalin and the other the release of cortisol.

The adrenalin pathway is associated with the body’s instant ‘fight or flight’ reflex. Cortisol is connected with longer periods of raised response and stress.

The results showed that the chances of getting pregnant for the quarter of women in the study with the highest levels of alpha-amylase were roughly 12 percent lower than the quarter of women with the lowest levels of alpha-amylase, each day during the fertile days of their menstrual cycle.

No differences in the chances of becoming pregnant were found for women with different levels of cortisol.

This is the first time any study has seen a difference in chances of pregnancy associated with a biological measure of stress.

Although the study has provided evidence of such an association for the first time, a larger study would be necessary to determine the size of this effect, or measure any time delay in women succeeding in becoming pregnant caused by higher stress levels.

“While these novel findings suggest a possible negative effect of stress on conception probabilities during the fertile window, we still don’t know if delays in conceiving will raise women’s stress levels and further reduce their chances of conceiving,” explains Dr. Germaine Buck Louis of the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and corresponding author of the study.

“More work is required to understand the size of the effect of stress on the chances of becoming pregnant and how it compares to the effects of factors like smoking, obesity and alcohol,” says Dr. Pyper of Oxford University.

“Further studies would also be needed to determine whether relaxation and stress-reduction techniques could have beneficial effects and improve couples’ chances of conceiving.”

The women who took part in this study were participants in the bigger Oxford Conception Study led by Dr. Pyper. This large study has recruited 1,500 healthy women in the UK trying to become pregnant and aims to see whether a fertility monitor could help them.

It is also looking for the effect of factors like smoking, alcohol and caffeine on chances of pregnancy.

Source: University of Oxford

Psycotherapy for anxiety and panic attacks is available in Wilmslow.

Anxiety is the body’s way of responding to being in danger.  Adrenaline is rushed into our bloodstream to enable us to run away or fight.  This happens whether the danger is real, or whether we believe the danger is there when actually there is none.  It is the body’s alarm and survival mechanism.  Primitive man wouldn’t have survived for long without this life-saving response.  It works so well, that it often kicks in when it’s not needed – when the danger is in our heads rather than in reality.  We think we’re in danger, so that’s enough to trigger the system to go, go, go!  People who get anxious tend to get into scanning mode – where they’re constantly on the lookout for danger, hyper-alert to any of the signals, and make it more likely that the alarm system will be activated.

 Thoughts that often occur:

●        I’m in danger right now

●        The worst possible scenario is going to happen

●        I won’t be able to cope with it

 Physical Sensations – The Adrenaline Response 

When there is real, or we believe there is a real, threat or danger, our bodies’ automatic survival mechanism kicks in very quickly.  This helps energise us to fight or run away (‘fight or flight response’).  The action urge associated with anxiety is to escape or avoid.  We will therefore notice lots of physical sensations, which might include:

Heart racing - This helps to take the blood to where it is most needed – the legs so that we can run faster (flight); the arms so that we can hit out (FIGHT); the lungs to increase stamina.  At the same time blood is taken from the places it is not needed for example fingers, toes and skin.  These changes cause tingling coldness and numbness.

●        Breathing gets faster - This helps the bloodstream to carry oxygen to the arms, legs and lungs.  This will give us more power.  The side effects may include chest pain, breathlessness and a choking feeling.  As there is a slight drop in the blood and oxygen being sent to the brain we may feel dizzy or light headed, he may experience blurred vision.

●        Muscles tense and prepare - The large skeletal muscles tense and create power, this may cause pain, aching and shaking.

●        Sweating - Sweating helps to cool the muscles and the body. It helps to stop them from overheating.  Sweating can also make us more slippery to our enemies!

●        Pupils dilate – This lets more light into his eyes so that overall vision improves.  Side effects may include sensitivity to light or spots before our eyes.

●        Digestive system slows down - These are not important while in danger and so are slowed down then the saved energy goes to where it is most needed.  Side effects may include nausea, butterflies and a dry mouth.

●        More alert - We will be concentrating on looking for danger, much less able to concentrate on anything else.  We’re waiting for something to happen. 

 Behaviours might include:

●        Avoiding people or places

●        Not going out

●        Going to certain places at certain times, e.g. shopping at smaller shops, at less busy times

●        Only going with someone else

●        Escape, leave early

●        Go to the feared situation, but use coping behaviours to get you through: examples include: self talk, holding a drink, smoking more, fiddling with clothes or handbag, avoiding eye contact with others, having an escape plan, medication.  These are called ‘safety behaviours’.

Safety behaviours can also help to keep your anxiety going.  Whilst you depend on them to help you cope, you don’t get to find out that without them, the anxiety would reduce and go away on it’s own.

Whilst avoiding people or situations might help you feel better at that time, it doesn’t make your anxiety any better over a longer period.  If you’re frightened that your anxiety will make you pass out or vomit in the supermarket aisle, you won’t find out that won’t actually happen, because you don’t go.  So the belief that it will happen remains, along with the anxiety. 

We all feel anxious some times.  A certain amount of anxiety helps us to be more alert and focused.  For example just prior to an exam, a few exam nerves have a positive effect – motivating us, helping us focus our thoughts on the job in hand, making us more alert.  Too much anxiety, or constantly being anxious, is unhealthy and detrimental to our lives and relationships.

CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is the recommended treatment for anxiety and panic attacks.

 

Commitment Problems

I’ve seen a number of patients recently experiencing Commitment Problems this is usually due to a negative past relationship where they have been very hurt, either in an intimate relationship or with a parent, people become very fearful of commitment.  Men seem to more vulnerable to this problem than women often due to that fact that women tend to be a lot ‘braver’ in allowing themselves to become emotionally hurt. Men and women with problems on commitment are very tortured and full of fear. They are in a constant state of emotional conflict because of their negative irrational beliefs about love, commitment and relationships. In relationships they create great confusion, havoc, pain and anguish as their behaviors are often insensitive, unpredictable and just downright strange. Commitment phobics can make people who are saints turn into crazy people, as they play games with their minds and their hearts.

Below is a list of the types of behaviors commitment phobics will typically show;

• They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent women.
• These people are usually very affectionate and loving. This is because in their mind the relationship is not going to be long term, so they feel free to give affection and love, knowing it won’t be forever. It isn’t long though before they suddenly start rejecting, by not ringing or not wanting to see them for days, or not including them in weekend arrangements etc. This is because they subtly want to give the message that they don’t want a long term committed relationship.
• Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can’t make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can’t commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the person when they don’t see them and are not in a relationship, but they want to run away when they become involved again.
•  Commitment phobics love the chase but they don’t want the kill. This may happen after     1 night, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months or 1 year. They may start sabotaging just as they are about to get married, or just before or after there’s a decision made to move in together, usually as the relationship is ready to move into a different phase.
• They tend to limit the amount of time they spend with the person and treat them as a low priority.
• Commitment phobic people often will say they want a relationship, but they won’t say they want a “no strings attached” relationship.
• Their behaviours announce subtly…“You will be special for a short time, but it won’t be forever”.
• They may start to choose people who are not the type of partner they are looking for, for example they may be unsuitable, or they may have different interests. They use these problems as a reason to end the relationship. The fewer boxes they tick the better as the partners that really scare them are the ones that seem to tick all the boxes and they can’t actually find a problem.
• They know an ongoing sexual relationship often leads to commitment so they choose to run when things start to head in that direction.
• They like to feel in control and create time frames that suit them, often treating the person like a puppet on a string.
• They don’t like structure, particularly in their personal life.
• They tend to compartmentalize their life and keep their work environment, friends or family off limits. They can create wonderful excuses why their partner shouldn’t meet these people.
• They prefer not to include their partner in their weekend or holiday plans.
• When they get the feeling they need to run, their words and actions are full of mixed messages. They play mind games.
• Commitment phobics don’t allow the relationship to grow and they have no intentions of ever doing so.
• They can be moody or aloof and blame the relationship for why they are acting so bizarrely
• They can have a history of unavailability and inaccessibility .They can be hard to contact, and they are often. They hate planning ahead because that means commitments.
• They are unpredictable when it comes to returning phone calls. They can even avoid answering calls completely.
• They are often unreliable, late and sometimes they don’t turn up at all. They are like this with family and friends as well, although this is not the case in their working environment.
• They tend to blame and find fault with the people they are with, and use this as an excuse to end good relationships.
• They can be overly committed to their work or to their children to avoid spending a lot of time with a partner.
• Behavioural inconsistencies are very noticeable with these commitment phobics when they find themselves getting too close. They become argumentative and abusive, or they create distance. A lot of uncaring sabotage behaviours surface eg. working long hours, taking on extra projects, creating space, not ringing, being late, finding fault with their partner etc

They often choose to travel a lot for work, to play a lot of sport, or be involved in many projects to create distance.

These people know on some level that they are deceptive and cruel to people and often have a lot of guilt and shame about it.

The word “forever” terrifies these people. Love doesn’t scare them; rather it is what love represents to them that scares them. This is due to their negative damaged belief system about love and relationships.

Those who experience Commitment Problems usually end up behaving worse and worse, and they sabotage more and more because they want the other person to end the relationship as they feel too anxious and guilty to do so 

 

 

I’ve recently seen an increase of clients requiring Family Counselling in Wilmslow, being based in Wilmslow I cover most areas within South Manchester and the East Cheshire regions, although the geographical area may change the need and reasons for counselling within Family remain constant.

Whether I’m working in Wilmslow with Family Counselling or anywhere else for that matter, I always enjoy working in the North West although I’m based in Cheshire, I also have an office in Harley Street in London if had a choice I always prefer my Wilmslow office over travelling down to London. I’ve recently refurbished my Wilmslow practice and while I was at it I thought I should update the photographs on my website.

Last week after working on some Family Counselling in Wilmslow, I visited Sandi Hodkinson Photography in Manchester to have some headshots done for my website. I’m like most people feeling very self conscious as the photographer snapped away, but I always feel it’s important that any potential client can see who I am before we meet. I shall be uploading the new imagery onto my site in the next couple of days.

Tips for a good night’s sleep

 

Tips for a good night’s sleep can be easier than you think, if you just keep in mind some of these helpful tips. Remember, sleep is supposed to be relaxing and helps to renew your body every night. Do not make sleep a competition or rely on less sleep for too long (longer than a few days). A good sleep should be on average 8 hours long. Everybody has trouble sleeping from time to time, so don’t worry if you’re having a stretch of having trouble sleeping. Try these tips to help return to a restful, natural sleep.

●        Set a schedule and keep a regular sleep schedule
Go to bed at a set time each night and get up at the same time each morning. Disrupting this schedule may lead to insomnia. “Sleeping in” on weekends also makes it harder to wake up early on Monday morning because it re-sets your sleep cycles for a later awakening. Do not nap within 8 hours of bedtime.

●        Exercise
Try to exercise 20 to 30 minutes a day. Daily exercise often helps people sleep, although a workout soon before bedtime may interfere with sleep. For maximum benefit, try to get your exercise about 5 to 6 hours before going to bed. Do not exercise within two hours of bedtime.

●        Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol
Avoid drinks that contain caffeine, which acts as a stimulant and keeps people awake. Sources of caffeine include coffee, chocolate, soft drinks, non-herbal teas, diet drugs, and some pain relievers. Smokers tend to sleep very lightly and often wake up in the early morning due to nicotine withdrawal. Alcohol robs people of deep sleep and REM sleep and keeps them in the lighter stages of sleep. Avoid all of these things at least 6 to 8 hours before sleeping if you want a good night’s sleep. Also, try to avoid eating any kind of large meal within two hours of bedtime.

●        Have a relaxing bedtime ritual
A warm bath, reading, or another relaxing routine can make it easier to fall sleep. You can train yourself to associate certain restful activities with sleep and make them part of your bedtime ritual.

●        Sleep until sunlight
If possible, wake up with the sun, or use very bright lights in the morning. Sunlight helps the body’s internal biological clock reset itself each day. Sleep experts recommend exposure to an hour of morning sunlight for people having problems falling asleep.

●        Don’t lie in bed awake
If you can’t get to sleep, don’t just lie in bed. Do something else, like reading, watching television, or listening to music, until you feel tired. The anxiety of being unable to fall asleep can actually contribute to insomnia. Return to bed when you begin feeling sleepy, and try to avoid sleeping in locations other than your bed.

●        Control your room environment and temperature
Maintain a comfortable temperature in the bedroom. Extreme temperatures may disrupt sleep or prevent you from falling asleep. Ensure a dark, quiet environment whenever possible. Try to avoid going to sleep with the television or radio on, because it can be a bad habit that leads to the need to have the TV or radio on every time you try and sleep.

●        See a doctor if a sleeping problem continues
If you have trouble falling asleep night after night, or if you always feel tired the next day, then you may have a sleep disorder and should see a physician. Your primary care G.P. may be able to help you; if not, you can probably find a sleep specialist at a major hospital near you. Most sleep disorders can be treated effectively, so you can finally get that good night’s sleep you need.